Sometimes love isn't enough
by elizabethnbrown95
Summary: Adam is known as a player, and all he wants in life is to find the perfect girl to like him for him. He goes on many rollercoasters, till he finds the perfect girl who leaves him wanting more. Please feel free to leave reviews, I am always open for suggestions. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

*beep beep*

I open up my eyes a little, and groan to myself. It is the start of another school year at Degrassi. I roll out of bed, and head towards the bathroom and like the usual the door is shut. Drew always hogs the bathroom, it takes him ten years to even get out of there.

"Drew, come on man. I gotta use the bathroom."

"Hold on, I am almost done", Drew says as he tugs open the door.

"Haha, what were you doing, jacking off?"

He almost ran away from me after I said that. I go inside the bathroom and close the door. I look into the mirror. I am a good looking guy if I do say so myself. I don't like to brag, but I did get the good looks in the family. Sometimes it gets annoying, the passing looks and the constant whispers. Most guys would think it is the coolest thing in the world to be noticed by every single girl, but sometimes you just want to find the right girl. Scratch that, I can't believe that thought was even in my head. I use the restroom and then go into my bedroom to find the perfect clothes for a first day of school. I grab my normal V-neck t-shirt and skinny jeans and put them on. I walk into the bathroom and spike my jet black hair up and I look at my eyes. They are an almost icy blue. I guess that is why girls like me. I scream for Drew to hurry up, because ya know can't be late for the first day. Only every other day after that.

We stop in front of the big building that reads Degrassi on the front, and I walk inside without even saying bye to Drew. I guess we don't get along too well. We aren't what you call close brothers, but that is okay. I see the girl with the prettiest smile standing at a locker talking to Jenna. I couldn't help but stare a little. Okay, Becky Baker is a little bit of a freak and way too God oriented for me, but she is hot. I quickly turn my head when I see Becky glance back at me.

They call her little Ms. Sunshine. I can definitely see it. In my opinion, she definitely knows how to light up a room with that beautiful smile. Have you ever seen someone you just can't help but to stare at? That's her. I met her in the weirdest way, also. I guess I will tell you the boring and stupid story. So, my friend, Eli, was directing a play about homosexuality. Well, like I said before she is a major Christian, so that definitely wasn't working for her. I was selling tickets, and of course every single person I knew came to buy them because you know it was me selling them. Becky was singing for world hunger or something like that. I can't really remember, but I knew what I had to do. Being the gentleman I am, I walked over and dropped a pretty generous tip into the jar. I smiled and she seemed pretty pleased with me. Trust me, I loved seeing her smile at me. Then she said something I wasn't expecting, that people shouldn't waste money on a ticket to see Eli's play, but they should save these hungry people. That kind of ticked me off, I am the first person to help anyone, but I don't use people to make something else go under. I knew that is what she was doing. I told her she should take it down, because she was a hypocrite. I think she was kind of stunned when I said that. Oh well, I really don't care. So, I left. A little while later, I saw her taking down her stand, and it fell on her. I am telling you karma works in funny ways, but once again being the gentlemen I am I helped her up. You could tell she was instantly into me. I kind of laugh at the idea now, because why would she be into me?

I guess we better go back into the present and re-live what has been happening now. Becky and I became pretty decent friends, but the problem was she didn't like the idea of who I am. I guess she didn't like the whole idea of girls falling all over me. I mean, I can't help it and it is not like I like it. So, we haven't really talked since that day. I guess I kind of miss the way she looked at me. I decide against ignoring and walk up to her.

"Hey, Becky", I say it kind of shyly.

"Hi, Adam", she gave me this weird look.

"How have you been?"

"You know, I am not too fond of you and I would just appreciate it if you left me alone."

I was kind of stunned when she told me to leave her alone. I didn't know she could be so persistent about things. I turned around, and I never looked back. It is hard to be completely rejected by a girl you were falling for. Maybe it was time to take my "label" and make it a reality. If everyone thinks I am a player, maybe it is time to act on it. Now, we guys aren't smart. We will easily try to choose another girl to make the one we like jealous. I know that doesn't make girls fall like putty in our hands, but hey. It is worth a shot. When I look up, completely in my own thoughts, I run into someone.

"I am so sorry, let me help you with this", I quickly grab the few books and hand them to the mystery person. When I look up, I am met with the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen. Now, I probably shouldn't be checking out a girl right in front of Becky, but it is her lose. She rejected me.

"I'm Adam", I smile brightly. Probably laid my smile on too thick, but first impressions are key.

"I'm pretty sure I know who you are. I'm Katie."

"Well, Katie. It's great to meet you. See you around?"

She laughed and just like that she was gone. I didn't even turn around to see if Becky was still watching, I was mesmerized by the new blue eyed girl. I don't have many friends, which may be because of the fact I have a bad reputation. It seems like if you are good looking, instantly you have a chance of everyone hating you. My best friend is Imogen Moreno. She's a beautiful girl, and she has the quirkiest personality. I guess you are probably wondering, why not date her? Well, I guess you can say I am not the best at relationships, and I can't see myself ever wanting to ruin the best thing I have going with a girl. That is actually pretty pathetic, the best thing I've got going with a girl is being best friends with one. I hang out with a guy name Eli and of course his lovely girlfriend Claire. When I first moved to this town, Eli and Claire were the only two people to keep me sane. Honestly, I've always thought this school and town sucked. There is too much drama, and there is always someone judging me everyone I turn.

I guess I will tell you the background on me. My name is Adam Torres. I am a junior in high school, and I play football and basketball. The thing no one knows about me is that I wasn't born Adam Torres. I was actually born a girl named Gracie. I got all my surgeries done the summer before 10th grade. No one really knew I was trans before then, except my family, Eli, Claire, and Imogen. They were the only people I trusted with that type of information. I remember working out non-stop, because I just wanted to impress the amount of girls that Drew does. I mean, I was the one that people didn't look at. Sometimes I miss that, being someone that could easily slide under the radar. I use to be scared to death that Drew would get mad at me and blab to the school, but I don't think he would. That is too personal, and I would never do something like that to him. It's just, we aren't nearly as close as we were, and that kind of scares me. I stole his girlfriend during the summer, Bianca. Whew, she was a fire cracker and a decent lay. I just never really liked her, that was Drew's idea of a good relationship. She came onto me, and I had just started taking heavy duty t-shots. My hormones were raging, and I had no idea how to fight her off. I mean, she isn't a bad looking girl. When it happened, I came clean so fast to Drew. I told him in a matter of minutes after it happened. Nothing was ever the same after, though. We stopped talking nearly as much, and I knew that good brother relationship was gone. I will always regret it, and if he gave me even a second to explain I would tell him all that. He is just too damn hard headed to let me.


	2. Chapter 2

Drew and I got into a fight a few nights ago, he was talking about how he wanted to get with some new girl. Turns out that new girl was my old hookup. He got so mad, and he just went off on me. I am not sure why, but I could tell he was jealous. I mean, he was the hot brother for the longest time. I was scared he was going to out me the next day, because he kept saying he was born the true man. I was just a phony and stuff. He never once said anything, though. I guess I respect him for that, even though his words stung big time.

I walk into the cafeteria and sit down without even seeing what table I am at. I guess I was too deep into thought. When I finally look up and take in my surroundings, I see that I am sitting next to Drew. He was tense, and I could tell he didn't want to be near me.

"What do you want", he nearly snarled at me.

"Sorry. I didn't realize where I sat down."

I got up, and I brushed off the way he acted towards me. I did screw up, and I was the one who ruined the relationship we had. He had every right to hate me and be mad. I guess it just wasn't fun. I practically ran to Imogen's table. Before I sat down, I put my hands over her eyes.

"Guess who", I said in a weird voice. I was trying to sabotage my voice.

"Hmmm. Please tell me this is Channing Tatum that would make my day", I could feel her smiling without even looking at her.

"Nah, guess again."

"Adam."

She pulled me into the seat next to her, and our eyes were locked. I felt like she was looking deep inside of me, figuring out my secrets before I could even tell them.

"Let's go outside to our spot", she whispered and stood up.

Imogen and I always go sit by this tree outside. It is kind of secluded, and that is how we like it. Sometimes it is nice to just be alone. Away from the world for a few minutes. We sit down, and for some reason she sits on my lap. She is looking off into the distance, and I really just want to know what she is thinking. I can't help but stare at her. She is beautiful, and I don't even know if she realizes it. She looks towards me, and I know she knows I've been staring. A blush creeps onto my face, and I look down.

"I didn't know the great and wonderful Adam blushed", Imogen said while laughing.

I look up at her and kind of smile. Trying to release the awkward tension I can feel building around us. She leans down and kisses me. It takes a few seconds, but I finally feel myself kissing back. I don't know why we were kissing, and I'm not even sure if I like her. I just didn't want to question it. Just as soon as I felt the warmth of her lips on mine, they were gone just as quick.

"I am so sorry, Adam. I didn't mean to do that", Imogen whispers, barely audible.

"Then why did you?"

"I love you, Adam Torres. I always have", she gives me a sly smile, and then walks away.

I couldn't even answer her, and I don't know why. I should love her back, and I should want to be with her. She is as perfect as they come. She knows my secret, and she still loves me. She makes me laugh, and she picks me up when I am feeling weak. I pull my phone out of my pocket, and I shot a quick text to Eli.

A: hey, man. I need your advice. Meet up at the Dot?

Just as fast as I sent the message, I got a response.

E: Heck yeah, see ya in 10.

I stand up, and I look around. For some reason, I am looking for Imogen. I just want to see her again, and just tell her everything is okay. That she has no reason to feel weird about kissing me. Honestly, it was a long time waiting. We've been best friends for a long time, obviously feelings could get tied into that. Before we became friends I had a huge crush on Imogen. I mean, I told you. She's beautiful. I run to my car, and I send a text to Drew saying I will pick him up later. I turn the music up load, and I head to the Dot.

I get there in about 5 mintues. I don't see Eli, so I grab a table.

"Adam, nice to see you", I look up and my favorite waitress is in front of me.

"You too, I just want a water. Thanks."

She gives me a strange look, probably because I usually order everything off the menu, but she leaves anyway. I stare at the door, and I see my best friend approaching. He gives me a slight nod, and heads towards my table.

"Hey, rocky. What's going on", Eli questions while giving me a slight smile.

"I have a huge problem", I feel the stutter in my voice, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I usually never have a problem with talking to Eli about things, but this seemed so personal. I didn't want to tell everyone that Imogen kissed me. I don't want to make her look bad, but it is just Eli.

"What is it", Eli questions again. You can tell he is getting interested.

"Imogen kissed me", I say barley above a whisper. Eli had to lean in just to hear me.

"WHAT", he screamed. I jumped just a little.

"Shut up, Eli. She kissed me, and I am just confused about how I feel for her."

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it", Eli is looking at the door, and I follow his gaze. I see Imogen standing at the door with some guy. I can tell they are holding hands, but I can't make out who he is yet. He turns around, and I nearly fall out of my chair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Quick author note. If you've been following along so far with my story. Thank you so much. It is really appreciated. I love hearing people's opinions, so please review. Enjoy!**

Imogen is holding hands with Drew.

I stare at the ground, and then I look back up at Eli. He doesn't say anything, but you can tell he is worried about me. I stand up, and I head to the bathroom. I don't know what to do, and my head is pounding so hard I can barely think. I didn't realize I was holding my breath, until I got into the bathroom. I am humiliated, I am sitting there about to tell my best friend my feelings for my brothers girlfriend. I had no idea they were even a thing. I didn't know they had feelings for each other. Drew never even mentioned it. I decide I just want to go home and sleep this off. I walk out, and I run into the one and only Imogen. You can tell by the way she is looking at me, she wasn't expecting to see me here.

"Damn, Adam. Sorry, I didn't see you there", Imogen smiles brightly, and I can't help but feel my heart pound a little harder.

I walk past her, and I head towards the door. I can hear Eli call my name behind me, but I don't turn around. I pull my iPod out of my pocket, and I look for a good song for this moment. I chose Demons by Imagine Dragons and I take off running.

I don't know how long I've been running, but I've heard my phone go off a few times. I feel the sweat running down my body as I stop at this park. I take a seat at the bench, and I pull out my phone. I have 10 missed calls and 20 text messages. I look at my missed calls first. 6 from Imogen and 4 from Eli, they were both wanting to talk to me. 15 of my texts were from Imogen, 3 from Eli, and of course 2 from Drew. I had no idea why Drew was trying to get ahold of me. All of the texts from Imogen were about the same.

I: Adam, what's wrong?

I: It really isn't what you think. I talked to Eli.

I: Adam, he asked me on a date, I couldn't just say no.

I: Okay, we've been dating. I just told him not to tell you, yet.

I: Can we please talk?

They just went on and on like that. I threw my phone onto the grass, and I laid down. It is dark out, and it is a beautiful clear night. I start to count the stars, and I just start laughing. I don't know why I was laughing, I felt crazy for laughing. It was so obvious that Imogen was with Drew. She would come to my house all the time, and only want to hang out with Drew. They would go up to his room, and hang out for hours on end. I just never questioned it, because I never cared. I never saw her the way I see her tonight. I never saw her the way I do now, till she kissed me. I closed my eyes, and I pictured her. Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

"Adam, wake up", I hear someone say to me. I look up, but I am still really groggy.

"Who is this?"

"Imogen, silly. Wake up", she starts to laugh, and I feel my insides bubbling. Why is she laughing? Who gives her the right to even be near me? I stand up, and I walk to the bench and sit myself down. She follows, and sits down right next to me.

"Please leave me alone", I barley say above a whisper.

"Why?"

"You can't kiss me and be with my brother. That doesn't make sense. Who even does that?"

She looks down, and I can tell I hit a nerve. I feel bad, but I know I shouldn't. She did this, not me.

"He can't stand me already, you know? You kissing me can make this worse. He could tell everyone my secret if he finds out we kissed. He will tell everyone my secret", I say barley audible.

She finally looks up at me, and without hesitating she brings me closer to her face. I can feel my breathing hitch a little. I can feel her eyes wanting to meet mine, but I don't dare look up. I look down at the ground, and she lets me go. I fall back a little, and I stand up. I can't be near her. She has way too much power over me. I turn around to go, and I hear her say she's sorry. I can hardly hear it, but it was audible enough for me to hear.

"Why", I question. I sit back down next to her, and I put my hand on her chin to lift her head. I look into her eyes, and I before I know it my lips are inching towards hers. She isn't stopping it, and I can't. We are kissing, and it isn't your normal peck. It's a straight out passionate kiss. The way her tongue slowly poked at my lips made me feel like we've done this a thousand times. I part my lips, and we are in a full blown make out when I hear the crunching of the grass. I turn around, and before I know it I am passed out on the ground.

I didn't know what hit me, actually who hit me. It just felt like a thousand pounds had just crashed onto me. I couldn't breathe, and then the person got on top of me and took his fair share of hits to my torso and face. I feel myself starting to lose consciousness, but before I do I hear Imogen say Drew's name.

I open my eyes a little and all I see is white. I guess this is what it feels like to die, huh? All you see is white, and you wait for God to come out and tell you that you've died. In my case, he will tell me how bad of a person I am. At least that's how it goes in the movies. I am not really sure what happened before I passed out. I just remember kissing Imogen, actually making out with Imogen. Then I got punched, and I heard Imogen say Drew's name. If you put that together, which I can do. That means Drew saw me kissing Imogen, and he could be spreading rumors right now as we speak. Well, it wouldn't matter, because I am dead.

"Adam", I hear a voice say to me. I feel myself beginning to wake up, and of course I realize I am not dead. What a bummer. I opened my eyes, and I close them back instantly. All I can feel are the sharp pains going through my body. It hurts to breathe, and it hurts to just be laying there.

"Doctors, we need to get my son pain medicine. He won't even open his eyes, but he shuddered in pain", gosh I knew that voice well. My mother, Audra Torres, is a wonderful lady. She is your typical mom, gets onto me for my dirty room or for my homework not getting done. She still loves me, though.

"Mom, what happened", I ask without opening my eyes.

"Hey, honey. Drew beat you up", I could hear the sadness if her voice. I just wanted to pick her up and hug her. I know Drew probably shouldn't have gone as far to beat me up, but this was my fault.

"It's my fault. I kissed Imogen, and he saw. I shouldn't have done it. I did it again, and I am a crappy brother. Where is he?"

"I know what you did, Adam. Trust me, Drew has told us plenty of times. That just doesn't excuse his behavior. You don't just beat up someone up this bad. You don't use violence at all. He is actually in jail right now, facing charges."

"What? Mom, what charges?"

"Adam, there was nothing I could do. If the state wants to file assault charges, they can. With the severity of your injuries, they think he is a risk to himself and the people around him."


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time, I wonder how bad he did beat me up. I can feel the pain in my bones, and I can feel my swollen lip and eye. I don't even want to look into a mirror and see the number he did on me, but deep down I knew I deserved it. If anyone deserved to get beaten into a bloody pulp, it was me. I betrayed my brother again, I knew he was dating Imogen and I still felt the need to kiss her. He had her first. I never put my claims on her. He did. This was so beyond shitty what I did. First Bianca, now Imogen. I lean my head back onto the pillow, and I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. I know I've lost my brother, and he is never going to want to be in my life again. I feel my mom's hand on mine. I gently squeeze it, and I look at her.

"I'm sorry, mom. I knew about Imogen and him. I had just seen them at the Dot, and I still went after her. I am such a crappy brother, and I deserved this. Drew didn't deserve this."

"No, you didn't deserve this. There was many ways to handle this situation, and using his fists wasn't one of them. Adam, he did a number on you. I don't know when you will be able to return to school, and I don't know if I want him around you anymore. People don't do this to people they love."

"You're right. People don't do terrible things to people they love, and look at what I did to Drew. I hurt him. I just need to sleep."

"Okay, honey. I am going to be in the waiting room, call if you need me."

She leans down and kisses me on the forehead. I give her a small smile, and she goes. I look around the hospital room, and it is your typical one. I am in a shitty bed. It is so uncomfortable and makes me thankful for my own bed at home. There is a TV on the wall in the corner. I look to my left and see a bottle of water along with my cellphone. I reach over to grab it, and it felt like my entire body was tearing. I lay back a little upset. I couldn't even reach for my own phone.

"Need help", I look up, and I swear I've seen an angel. I smile sweetly at her and nod.

"I am guessing you want your cell phone? I'm Lindsey, your nurse. You can buzz me whenever you need me", she smiles. Damn this girl is a looker. She has long blonde hair that suits her well. She has blue eyes, which are probably as blue as mine. I doubt she is checking me out, I bet I look rough. I definitely feel it.

"So, Lindsey, do I look as bad as I feel?"

"You haven't looked at yourself, yet?"

"Honestly, no. I haven't wanted to. I don't want to get mad at my brother for something that was my fault."

"Your fault? I don't think you beat yourself up."

"Thanks, but I am not a great brother, and thanks for grabbing my phone. I guess I'll see you around?"

"Sure."

On the up side, I have one damn fine looking nurse. Whew, you could feel the smoke radiating off of her. I click the home button on my iPhone, and I have too many messages to count. I got a few from Imogen, Katie, Eli, Clare, and even Becky. The first one I open is Becky's, because I have this weird feeling she isn't too happy with me.

B: So, are the rumors true? Were you born a girl? How could you leave those details out while we were making out in the back of your car? You should be really ashamed of yourself. I hope God can fix you.

I stare at my phone, and I can't breathe. I feel like the walls are closing in around me. How in the heck did Drew get around to telling people my secret? How did he do that? I close my eyes, because the whole entire room is spinning and I feel sick to my stomach. I click on Eli's message next, I need to find out what is going on.

E: So…. I am guessing you probably already know the cat is out of the bag. I haven't really seen who has spreading it around, but I did see Dallas telling a few people. I asked why, and he pretty much said he will always stick with Drew. Look, this isn't the worst thing, it is better people know. Maybe, I don't know. Imogen has asked if I've heard from you a few times. Give her a call, Adam. I've been to your room, but you've been out. Stay strong, Rocky. Text me when you can.

I breathe, and I open Katie's next. Can't be any worse than Becky's.

K: You are probably wondering how I got your number. I actually asked Eli for it. I knew something was different about you, I didn't know it was as serious as what is going around the school, but I want you to know you are a great GUY. These rumors aren't going to change anything. I hope we can still get to know each other.

I smile, and I decide I will shoot her a quick text back.

A: Hey, Katie. Thanks for not judging me like the rest. I wish I could have told you myself. See you soon.

I stare at the wall. I didn't think things would ever go this far. I never thought Drew would tell anyone. I knew there was always a chance, because it was great fuel. That's perfect blackmail, and I decide to open Claire's next. It is probably some sappy message, saying how she will always be here for me. You know what I mean.

C: Hey, Adam. I saw that Eli texted you and told you everything. I just wanted to tell you that I'm always just a call or text away. I know this is going to be a rough period, but please don't hesitate to come to me. Everything will be okay. Also, when you get this, text Imogen back. She's really worried. Just hear her out.

Like I said, a sappy message from Claire. I love her to death, but she is known for being too soft. I guess that's why I need her in my life sometimes. To balance out my personality with hers. I finally decide to open Imogen's, because Claire is right. I owe Imogen the right to talk.

I: Adam, I am so sorry. I didn't know Drew was there, or I would never have let that happen. I don't know what came over me, what came over us. I never told you about Drew, because I always liked you. Deep down I knew I was dating him for all the wrong reasons. I knew I wanted to get you jealous, jealous enough to make you realize you could possibly like me. The day at the Dot when you stormed out after seeing us together, I knew you liked me. I ended things with Drew, and I think he figured out the rest. It wasn't your fault that I broke up with him. I tried to tell him that. I just always wanted to be with you, and I thought using him would make it easier. I don't know, Adam. I am sorry, and I am so sorry this rumor is going around. Just know I don't care about it, you're my best friend. I can't lose you. I'm in love with you, Adam Torres.

When I finish reading the message, I hear a knock at my door.

"They said you were awake and doing decent", Eli says as he takes a seat in the chair next to my bed.

"Doing fine, just look like shit", I laugh.

"Nah, rocky. Just a little banged up. I guess he did do a number on you, huh?"

"Yeah. My fault, though."

"Adam, I know it seems that way right now, but he had no right to beat you up. He owes you actually, because you've been the only one to ever see the good in him. He will realize that one day, and he will be begging for you back in his life. Don't let this get you down. I have a whole group of people in that waiting room, wanting to tell you themselves that they got your back that first day back to school. Screw Drew."

"Who's in the waiting room?"

"Claire, Jenna, Alli, Conner, Katie, Bianca, Dave and I was shocked as heck when Owen showed up. He told me that it's stupid to go through so much trouble to torment someone. Your whole basketball and football team is out there. Imogen is even out there, and Becky even showed up. She actually begged to come see you first. She told me she said a few crappy things and she needs to apologize for that. So, hear her out. You need all the people on your side as you can get."

"Okay, I will hear her out. Bring the blonde in."

Eli laughs and goes to the door, "It will be okay, Adam."


	5. Chapter 5

**I am still unsure who I want Adam to end up with, but I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reads this story. It truly means a lot to have your guys support. Enjoy! :) **

I stare at the wall, and I can't help but smile. I never knew I would have such a great support system. So many people wanting to help me through such a tough time. I don't know why Becky is here, and I don't like it much. She's pissed because I lied to her, but now she wants to make sure I'm okay. That just doesn't make sense to me. I feel her wake into the room, and she clears her throat to make her presence known. I still don't turn around and look at her. I just don't want to see the disappointment on her face.

"Look at me, Adam", Becky says barely audible.

"Why? Is God not fixing me fast enough for you, Becky?"

You could see the hurt in her eyes, but it just as quickly turns to anger.

"I was going to text you back immediately telling you how sorry I was, and that I meant nothing in that message. I just didn't want to say that through a text, I wanted to see you face to face. I've been sitting in that waiting room since I sent that message. You can imagine how my own parents felt about that, especially since they heard the news about you. So, don't sit there and say something rude when you haven't even listened to what I was going to say."

I look up at her dumbfounded. Her parents know? How do her parents know? Who told them? All these questions were zipping through my head, but that didn't stop Becky from continuing on her rant.

"Look, I never asked how you were doing with the whole situation. I mean, your brother had just told the whole school your secret, and you just found out. I shouldn't have sent that message to add more pain onto you. I know what happened, though. You kissed Imogen. I never said anything, but that's why I would never date you. I could look at you two and see the amount of feelings beaming off every single look you gave each other. I just knew you never saw it, and I knew you really liked me. I just knew you liked her more. I don't know why you always blocked those feelings out, but I remember talking to Claire about it. She told me about Fiona. The girl back at your old school-"

I cut her off before she can say anymore, "What about her, Becky? Did you find out all the dirty gossip behind my old life?"

"No, Adam. Claire never told me the whole story, but when this came out about you originally being a girl. It all made sense. You were dressing as a boy while going to your old school, Fiona was a in the closest lesbian. You guys started dating, and you fell in love. You would move the mountain and the earth for her, and she was just using you for your body. She wanted you for the girl aspects that you still had. She never saw you as Adam, and I am so sorry. I didn't realize that's why you shut down, and you kept your distance from girls. I'm sorry I never realized that, and that I gave you such a hard time about us."

"It's fine. How'd you figure all that out about Fiona?"

"I would like to say I'm a genius, and I just magically appeared with that theory. But sadly, I am not. When we ended, I wanted to meet this girl that you loved so much. So, I went to your old school. Before you freak out, I honestly had no idea what I was going to figure out. Yes, Fiona told me everything, so I knew who you really were when we were making out in the back of that car. I just loved you anyway, and it never mattered to me. I ended things, because I knew you loved Imogen, and because I knew you were never going to tell me the truth. I just wanted you to tell me what Fiona did. I'll say this just so you know, your anatomy now shows that you're a boy, but you've always been one. In-between the ears where it counts."

She leaned down and kissed my forehead. I gave her a slight smirk, and she gave me her full out smile. Then she was gone. Honestly, I never thought Fiona would tell anyone about us, or about who I use to be. I guess she probably thought I was still just dressing up. That's what the kids use to call it back at my old school. They said I was just playing Halloween every day of the year. Then they'd take me behind the school and tell me to strip. They wanted to see the girl underneath the clothes. If I refused to take off my clothes, they'd beat the crap out of me. I can't count how many times I came home with a broken rib or a sprained wrist. Something along those lines. I remember the times Drew would get so mad, he would run down to the school like he was going to catch them.

One day, one of the guys decided they weren't taking no for an answer. He really wanted to see what I looked like. He threw me up against the wall, and I fell as soon as I hit it. My head was throbbing, and he gave a few more good kicks. I tried to get up and move away from the blows to my ribs, but I couldn't move at all. I felt helpless on the ground while they all started to kick me. Then I'm guessing the oldest of the group decided enough was enough and made them all stop. He picked me up off the ground, and I was like a limp rag doll. He pushed me against the wall, and he began taking my shirt off. I closed my eyes as tight as I could, and I put myself in this happy place. I didn't want to be around while they hurt me. I didn't want to be around while they reminded me of the true anatomy I had. I opened my eyes a little, and I saw Drew. He was beating up the guy that was trying to hurt me. I had to tell him to stop, or I'm not sure he would have. He grabbed my arm and brought me to the car. He started crying instantly, and he said how sorry he was for letting me down. Even though, I figured out in that day I couldn't live in that body anymore. I had to get the right parts, because I wasn't truly a guy. I couldn't pee standing up, and I didn't even have hair on my chin. I begged my mom for the surgeries, and she did finally cave in.

I stand up, and I wince in pain as I go to look in the mirror in the bathroom. I look at my face and all the reminders of that first bad beating I took from those guys at my old school. I can't believe Drew did this to me. A guy that use to be so protective of me.

"It isn't that bad, you know?"

I turn around, and I am met face to face with Fiona.

"What are you doing here", I question as I turn away again.

"I got a call from Becky saying you were in the hospital, I wanted to check on you. You look so different."

"Maybe it's the bandages and stuff. I might be a little banged up."

Fiona laughed a little, for some reason she always found me funny.

"You still have your sense of humor. That's a plus."

"Have you come out of the closet, yet?"

"Well, when you left, I figured out I wasn't a lesbian. I guess my time with you proved that. I just never knew how to tell you after the fact. We had such a crappy break up, and then that Becky girl shows up questioning about you. I wasn't able to get you off my mind after that. She didn't know you were ever a girl, Adam. I was so confused, because I didn't know you could hide it so well. She said that you were flat chested, and she knew you had the proper parts. I actually questioned that part, because she didn't look like the one to just have sex. She said you slept with her best friend. Good job, Torres."

"Hey, I wasn't even talking to Becky at the time. Jenna and I had been great friends, and she hit on me. I couldn't help it."

"Why the sudden change?"

"It wasn't sudden, and you would have known that if you ever listened to a damn conversation we had. You were always so worried about yourself, you never noticed the days I came in with a black eye or even a new splint on my arm. I bet you are trying to rack your brains to figure out what I'm talking about. That's even more pathetic in itself."

"I knew what happened after you left. The whole school was talking about what those guys did to you. No one laughed or thought it was funny. You really changed that school."

"Why didn't you ever contact me?"

"You never tried to contact me."

"Yeah, because you told me you were a lesbian and just using me. How was I supposed to know you were going to change your sexuality when I left?"

"Well, I guess you wouldn't know, but you do look even better as a guy. You're hot, Adam, but I know you hear that a lot."

I laugh, and I can't even begin to make myself stop. It wasn't even that funny, but for some reason my mind thought it was. I could feel Fiona's glare on face.

"What's so funny, Adam", I could hear the sneer in her voice when she questioned me.

"Nothing, Fi. It's just, you called me hot. The girl I pined over for so many years, and you never fully wanted me. Now you are showing the interest I always wanted, because I'm fully a guy. I get it. You were never a lesbian, you just didn't want to walk around the school with a freak show like me."

"It's not like that. I would never do that to you."

"Save it. Please leave."

"Adam, come on. It isn't like that, you are just being paranoid."

"Please don't make me call someone to escort you out", I say as I pull my cellphone out.

**I couldn't leave out Fiona. That was one of my favorite pairings gone wrong, thanks again. I hope you liked this chapter. **


	6. Chapter 6

I can see the pain in her eyes, but I didn't let it get to me. I look up at the ceiling, doing anything to get her out of my mind. I've let this girl get to me for years. I can't do that anymore, it isn't healthy. She definitely isn't worth it. I can't help but get a little sad. I mean, she was the only person I trusted for years. I let my mind drift to other things, to other people. The only person to pop into my mind is Becky. She accepts me, and I am not sure why. I've never been the type of person I could see her being friends with. That's why I never told her what I was. I wish I was just born into the right body, I wish that this stigma of being transgender was never on my shoulder. I hear a knock at the door, and I look up. It's Imogen, I give her an odd look. I nod to let her in, though.

"How are you feeling", Imogen questioned.

"I am feeling okay. It hurts, but I'll live", I look down, trying not to make eye contact.

"Why won't you even look at me?"

"Because it's too hard. Why didn't you tell me about Drew? I would never have let what happened happen. Why are you even dating Drew?"

"First, I am not dating Drew anymore. I don't know how it happened, I got lonely waiting for you. I knew you would never come around and see me. You are always waiting for the wrong girl. The girl you know things won't work out with, but you try them anyway. Do you really think Becky is the one? Or even Fiona? Come on, Adam. They only like the Adam they see now. They'd never like the real Adam. Why did you change? Why all the surgeries? I've never asked that before, but I've always wondered."

"I was dating Fiona, things weren't going like planned. She wasn't kissing me anymore, and she only could only deal with me when she drank. I knew no relationship was ever going to be right. I knew no girl was going to like a freak show like me. You've never seen the real Adam. I hated who I was, I was sick of being the freak that people looked at in the hallway. I was sick of coming home with bruises all over my body, and I was just sick of Drew having to fight all my battles. It's hard enough being different, but when you can't even defend yourself you are even lower than a stupid feminine guy. People look at you differently. Actually, they don't even want to look at you anymore."

"So, Drew defended you?"

"When he could. That's why it was so hard when we stopped talking. I hated how things got after Bianca, but I never meant for any of it to happen. I was really going through a lot, I was just transitioning. My hormones were going ramped. If I could change it, you know I would."

Imogen starts to get closer to me, I can feel her breathe on my face. I don't move. I just watch her get closer and closer. I know she wants to kiss me, continue on from the other night. Drew pops into my head, and I know that's gross. Your brother popping into your head when you are about to make out with a complete hotty, but he is my brother. He would never do something like this to me, and I can't believe I've lowered myself to doing it to him. I pull away quick, and I try to get to my feet. The weight of my body seems so heavy, and I almost fall when my feet touch the ground.

"Adam, let me help you", Imogen says as she reaches to grab my hand. I swipe my hand away, and I guess I did it too fast. I suddenly lost my balance, and I ended up on the floor. How embarrassing, laying on the ground. I feel weak, and I don't like it.

"Can you call my mom in for me", I ask just above a whisper. I never meet Imogen's eyes. I don't want to look at her. I don't want her pity. Pity that just shouldn't be there. I'm fine.

"Okay, I can."

I sit up, and I push myself up against the wall. I'm glad Imogen shut the door, because I probably look like an idiot sitting on the ground with a hospital gown on. The ground is cold, and I try to push myself up. I just don't have the strength, and I feel my eyes start to water. I refuse to let myself cry. I won't let anyone see me weak, and I won't let Drew break me. I won't let him win. I hear the door open, and I know my mom is in shock when she sees my bed empty. I look up, and I see her look to the left. Too bad I am on the opposite side of the room.

"Mom, I am right here", I say, and she gives me a sideways look.

"What are you doing on the ground?"

"Fell, and I didn't want help getting up. I am just going to suffer on the ground", I give her a small smile, and I kind of laugh at my own joke. My mom comes up to me, and she helps me to my feet.

"What did you want", she asks. I can tell she probably isn't going to like what I have to say, but I better get it out of the way.

"I want to see Drew."

"No."

"Come on, mom. I need to talk to him. I just need to know why he'd do what he did. Let me see him."

"Okay, but if things get out of hand, we are out instantly."

"Gotcha, instantly."

My mom grabbed some clothes off the couch in my room, and she hands them to me.

"I will be right outside the door, get dressed. If you need help, I will call Eli in."

I give her a nod, and I watch her leave my room. I stand up, and I sway a little. My balance isn't fully with me, and I just hurt. I walk to the bathroom, and I look in the mirror again. Not too bad, but I don't look the greatest. I have a purple bruise around my eye. I have a cut on my lip, with one small cut on my cheek. I look like I just came home from a war. I put my boxers on, and I lift off the gown I've been wearing. I grimace when I look in the mirror at my reflection. I wish I never took my shirt off. I have bruises forming all over my body. I close my eyes, trying to keep the memories from flooding over me. I never knew Drew could do something like this, but I did betray him. I open my eyes, and grab the t-shirt my mom brought for me. I lift it over my head, and I feel sharp pains going down my entire body. I try to ignore it, and I finally get my shirt on. The tough trick is going to be putting on my pants. I almost call to my mom to tell her to get Eli, but I decided I need to do this on my own. I lift my leg up just a little, and I manage to get my first leg into the pants hole. I lift my other leg, and I manage to do the same. I call to my mom and tell her I have my clothes on. She comes in, and helps me put my shoes on. I can tell she is staring at my intently.

"What is it", I ask.

"Why do you want to see Drew?"

"I just want to tell him sorry."

"You want to tell him sorry? Shouldn't he be the one apologizing?"

"No, it's my fault this happened. We were on thin ice, and I just didn't appreciate the fact he had someone."

"Well, fine. Whatever you want to do. They need to bring a wheelchair to the room. They are letting us bring it home, because you aren't fully capable of walking around by yourself, yet."

I nod, and I sit on the couch and wait for my wheelchair. I get restless, because it feels like hours for them to discharge me. They didn't think it was wise for me to leave so soon. I did just get the crap beat out of me, but I wanted to go. I've always hated hospitals, they smell funny. They remind me of death, and I just never like being in one.

Finally the nurse comes in with my wheelchair. Of course, I think this is the coolest thing in the world. I mean, my first idea is to do a wheelie off the steps of the hospital, but my mom gave me the lecture before the nurse even came in. 'No tricks, Adam'. I thank the nurse, and my mom pushes me to the car. I look in the waiting room, and I see a few friends in it.


	7. Chapter 7

"Eli", I scream. He turns his head, smiles.

"Well, well. Looks like the big boy is finally getting out. How are you feeling", Eli asks.

"I'm okay. Feeling a lot better. I actually just wanted to tell you were I was headed."'

"You aren't headed home?"

"No, I've decided to go visit Drew in jail."

"Look, Adam, I don't think that is such a good idea. He just did all this to you. You should probably keep your distance for a while."

"I am going either way. I need to apologize. I'll call you later, maybe meet up to play video games."

Eli laughs and gives me a slight nod.

I turn to go out the door, but I feel eyes boring into the back of my head. I turn to see Imogen staring at me intently. I'm not sure what she wants, but I am sure she will text me later about it. I get to the car, and my mom helps me in. I wince in pain, but I try to make it discrete so she doesn't see. Of course, she does, and makes a comment about it.

"Are you sure you want to leave, Adam? You look uncomfortable."

"Yes, mom. I want to leave. We need to get to the jail fast anyway. Isn't visiting over soon?"

"I'm not even sure if they will let us see him."

I stare out the window, watching the scenery as it passes by. I know my mom is watching me, but I don't turn to look at her. All I can think about is what Drew is going through, and how he's doing. I can't believe he is sitting in a jail cell, like a damn animal. Everyone thinks I'm a fool for feeling so sorry for him, but he is still my brother. Even though I doubt he'd care if I was locked in jail. He'd probably come to visit to just laugh at me. I see the jail coming up. I've always thought it was creepy looking. With the barbed wire fence surrounding it, and the brick being this dark gray. It was a miserable place by just looking at it. My mom runs to the back of the car after we park, and she grabs my wheelchair. She comes to my side, and I get up and sit down. She wheels me to the front door, and opens it. I look inside, and it looks gloomy. Like no one has smiled in days in this building, but that makes sense. It is a jail. My mom walks to the front desk, and she asks if Drew can visit with us. The police officer agrees, but takes one look at me and isn't sure. I wheel myself to the desk, and I look at him.

"Sir, I know I'm in a wheelchair, but I'm fully capable to see my brother", I say, trying to look as serious as I can. He looks at me again, and he just nods his head. He leads us to this back room. It has no windows, and only a table with two chairs. I guess they knew I wouldn't need one. He told us my brother would be in shortly, they just had to go get him. My mom is staring at me again, and I look back at her and give her a slight smile. She looks pale as a ghost, and I can tell she is more worried than I am about seeing Drew. I hear a buzz, and the door opens. In comes Drew, he is in handcuffs. The guard uncuffs him, and tells my mom he will be outside the door if we need any help. I can feel Drew's eyes bore into me, and when the guard leaves I pray to myself he doesn't rip my head off.

"What are you doing here", I can hear the anger in Drew's voice, and I don't say anything back.

"What? Does the cat have your tongue now? Since Imogen's is out of your mouth."

"It wasn't even like that. It was an accident, but you couldn't even stick around to hear the whole story. You just had to beat the crap out of me. I think it's funny, that's the best you got. To hit a guy who isn't even looking."

"I didn't hit a guy, Adam. I hit a girl who is confused, and thinks he is a guy."

"Is that the best you got, Drew? Your words don't hurt, because in the end Imogen saw the true side of you. I came here to apologize, and I wanted to rekindle what we lost. I guess that just isn't good enough for you", I turn to my mom, "let's go."

She stands and knocks on the door. The guard comes in, and he grabs Drew.

"Leave, Adam. That's all you've been good for. You run when I tell you the truth. Sucks, doesn't it? I use to fight your battles, now I am your battle", Drew said, as he began to laugh.

I look at my mom, and she wheels me into the waiting room. I wheel myself to the front desk, and I tell the police officer I need to talk to the guy in charge here. My mom looks at me funny, but I tell her to go wait in the car. She does what I ask. I see a man come up to me, he's extremely tall. Maybe he looks that tall because I am in this damn chair. I don't know.

"Hello, Mr. Torres. I am detective Alex Walton. What can I do for you?"

"Uh. This is complicated, but there was a guy named Drew Torres who just got booked here for assault. I wanted to talk about the charges."

"Yeah, Drew just got booked. By the looks of things, I am guessing you are the brother who was pretty angry with?"

"Yeah. I want to drop all the charges. I want it to be like it never happened."

"Are you sure, Mr. Torres?"

"Please call me Adam, but yes. I am positive."

"Okay, Adam, but we do have a pretty solid case. There was a witness to your attack, and he admitted he did it."

"Please. I don't want to press charges, I just want this over with. When you discharge him, tell him we are outside waiting in the car. Thanks."

I turn around in my chair, and I began to wheel myself out. Of course, I can't open the dang door by myself. I stare at it, like it's going to magically open for me. Behind me someone opens it, and I nod slightly and mumble a thanks.

"Well, someone isn't much up for talking."

I would know that voice from anywhere, but what was she doing here. How'd she know I was here?

"How'd you know I was here, Becky?"

"I overheard Eli telling Claire. Better question is, what are you doing here?"

"Letting my brother go free."

"Why? He really hurt you."

"That's life, and he's still my brother. He doesn't deserve to be locked in a cage."

"You've always been a good guy. I guess I'll let you go home and relax", she smiles slightly at me and leans down to kiss my cheek.

I see my mom come towards my chair, and she doesn't look happy.

"Did I overhear that correctly? You let Drew go?"

"Yes, mom. We are also waiting till he comes out here so we can drive him home."

"Adam, maybe I should give Omar a call and tell him to come get Drew."

"Nah, its fine. He should be out soon. Just help me into the car."

I get a good grip onto the car, and I lower myself in. I keep looking in the side mirrors, waiting for my brother to come through the door. I don't know why I let him go. I don't know why I dropped the charges, because I know he wouldn't do the same for me. I just couldn't sleep tonight knowing he wasn't sleeping in his own bed. I couldn't imagine sleeping in one of those jail beds. It just isn't fair of me to allow it. I had to even the trade.


End file.
